


It's Not Alright

by quietdetective



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Autistic Jeremy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, autistic Michael, hanahaki disease au, michael is a smart bean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2018-11-28 20:57:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietdetective/pseuds/quietdetective
Summary: Michael loves Jeremy, but Jeremy doesn't know.Michael loves Jeremy, so Michael has Hanahaki Disease, which is caused by unrequited love.Jeremy is infactuated with Christine, Christine is just trying to survive high school and enjoy play rehearsal.(No Christine in chapter one I'm sorry)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who isn't dead.   
> Also guess who posted this unfinished in hopes it'll prompt me to actually finish it.   
> Praise me and I'll probably do it.

As many shitty things do, it happened in math class. That's how Jeremy found out his best friend since nursery suffered from a common, but potentially fatal, illness. Jeremy hadn't known Michael had the disease of course, till the fateful period, it was Jeremy Michael called for when he first vomited the flowers in the middle of class, unable to think straight and just wanting his friend's comfort. Of course Jeremy sprinted to Michaels class, anxiety forgotten over his best friend having a panic attack and sobbing in the middle of class. It was a difficult day, the day that Jenna Roylan shared with everyone how Michael Mell, the stoner with a red hoodie that had a million patches and was also sorta a loser, had Hanahaki Disease and had an attack in Math class, which usually only occurred in the later stages of the illness. 

Of course when Michael came back to school the next day, and being an anxious person over being crowded and confrontations, didn't appreciate being slightly crowded and stared at, as well as having whispers follow him through the day, even with his trusty headphones blocking some of it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael spat into the toilet, gagging again when he felt another wave of nausea pass through him, another wave of flowers and blood filling the toilet. He really couldn't breathe for a few seconds afterward, a panicked gasp passed his lips before he was able to take a few deep breaths, moments away from a panic attack. He hated not being able to breathe, it messed with him. 

Michael stood up and flushed the toilet, feeling unsteady and gross, his face flushed and sweat making his shirt stick uncomfortably to his back. He washed his mouth out, ignoring the pink tinted toothpaste and water. It wasn't like this was out of the ordinary, waking up in the middle of the night with flowers stuck in your throat cause you were stupid enough to fall in love with your best friend. It also wasn't out of the ordinary for Michael to cough up blood, as he knew he was in late stages of the illness. Forget me nots, such a fitting and ironic flower. True undying love, and the name suggesting a promise. He saw it as resignation. He knew he was easy to forget about, just a loner with bulky headphones, an obsession with old shit, and straight As that no one knows about.

Michael Mell, able to get through high school with minimum bullying by not putting himself out there, while also suffering from a common disease but not getting over it as others often do


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael thinks in circles and it’s still not really an update more than it is me trying to deal with life.

You’d think the whole fear of dying would prompt someone to tell another than they love them with all their heart and would never want to live a day without them, while in actuality when that person is anxious with many other factors, it seems like the better option would be death. 

While yes, Michael would want nothing more than to hug and kiss and just lay with Jeremy on the daily and enjoy life, that would require the possibility that Jeremy doesn’t return his feelings and knows about Micheal’s. That would turn a hundred ways messy and it’s easier to continue making excuses than try to think of reasons he should tell Jeremy that he is the reason Michael has hanahaki. 

Well. Not necessarily easier perhaps. It’s more convenient. It’s better to run to the bathroom every half hour to vomit flowers than it is to confess something so big to your one and only friend. Michael would never want to jeopardize that if you couldn’t tell. 

So it’s easier. It’s easier hiding than it is to risk jumping over the edge in hopes someone will catch you.

**Author's Note:**

> Ye. I like the idea of Michael being smart and just, not caring really about his grades? He still does really well tho (projecting myself like always)   
> Praise me plz I live for support. And also criticize my work, I know I can get better and would like to be told how.


End file.
